Welcome to the teaching fraternity!

Have not been blogging for while given the hustle and bustle of settling wedding preparations and adpating to school life. Wedding prep has been frastrating yet fufilling. We have completed half the tasks according to the wedding schedule. God's grace and provision never fails. =]

I have been teaching for the past 3 weeks at RPS. It has been such a joy teaching the P1 kids. Despite the intitial apprehension about the new school environment and a totally surprising appointment to teach P1, I was able to integrate fairly ok into the culture. Lotsa things to set in place like procedures and tidy up my boring workstation. I brought lots of snacks in to satisfy my craving for food on busy afternoons when I have no time for lunch. Look forward to knowing more teachers and the culture in school! I am in the English Dept currently and so far things are going fine. Thank God for an understanding and kind HOD!

Just had Teachers' Investiture 2 days ago. Went up the stage for the first time to receive my cert. Was really inspired by one of the Outstanding Youth teacher award recipient. Looking at her petite frame and sweet looks, one wouldn't have guessed she jogs with her students and initiates many student projects in school. I pray I can do my best and impact many lives like her too. Wonder if she's a christian?

time for bed.

Tonight was an unusual night. It was a night fraught with fear and uncertainties. I have been thinking about what has been happening in cell group lately. But i guess it just couldn't be contained any longer in my heart. I let it out in torrents of tears streaming down my face as I wept over the condition of my own heart and of my sheep. I have not had such strong emotions for a long time. Once again, I was hungry to experience a touch, a word from Him. I did. I was drawn back to the love of God in a message reminded by Dear. That despite all my failures, He still loves me. Love drives out the fear in me to fail, to succeed. That's the whole point, isn't it?

God reminded me also about Psalm 42. That I have yet to place my hope in Him.


"Today, a renewal is occurring in various parts of the world; God is restoring joy to His people. Many whom the Lord has touched were weighed down - just like you might be - with either moral failure or tragedy. In the very place where our deferred hopes produced heart sickness Christ is here "to bind up the brokenhearted" (Isa. 61:1). Where once sorrow and heaviness reigned, He gives a "garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting" (Isa. 61:3). No longer will church attendance be a penance for your failures. From now on you shall enter His gates with thanksgiving. Indeed, to every Christian struggling with an unbearable burden, the Lord says, You are still My bride. Indeed, speaking of this very valley of troubling, the Lord has promised: “I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her. Then I will give her her vineyards from there, and the valley of Achor as a door of hope. And she will sing there as in the days of her youth” (Hosea 2:14-15). The fruitfulness of God's blessing, from this day forward, shall increase in your life. And there in "the valley of Achor," the scene of your deepest wounds or worst failures, the Lord has placed for you a "door of hope." His goal is nothing less than to restore to you the song of the Lord, that you might sing again "as in the days of [your] youth."

-Francis Frangipane in Door of Hope

Thank you Lord for bringing me to the door of hope. Though I may not see it now, I know it is waiting for me there. You have placed it there and I just have to walk towards it, amidst the darkness. In all my failings, you have not failed. You have not failed to love me, shelter me from the accusations and condemnations. You sent you Holy Spirit and Dear to minister to me at my darkest hour. Thank you my Lord.

Some updates on wedding preparation:

The search for hotels for wedding banquet, church venue for solemnisation and interior designing for our new house for the past two weeks had been tiring but fruitful. We learnt a lot about the different packages given by hotels and interior firms, and compared the perks given by each. 17th Dec 2007 is the date we chose for wedding dinner as it is our anniversary. Hopefully we get to book a nice place for our solemnisation on 16th Dec.

Search for hotels: Narrowed to Le Meridien and Hilton. If there's still time next week we would like to explore Orchard Parade. The ballroom we loved at Hilton is situated on the 24th storey which is called the Panorama. The glass windows overlook the Orchard area and we think the night scene will be mesmerising

Interior Firm: Home success. Fomerly renovated Zoe Tay's house and eventually became famous. Heard reviews about their good service and quality. City Design, another ISO company.

We need wisdom and advice on financial management for the above because we want to plan well so that we do not want to overspend and we hope to hold a memorable wedding that honours God, our parents and each other. Wondering when the marriage counselling course will start, pretty excited about it.

Meanwhile it's new cell group. New faces, new leadership and challenges. Members in my cell: My dearest assistants Sharity, Alan, Kok Chye, girls who are full of character Melissa and Shermaine, lively twins Joanne and Joey, cheeky Bryan (haha..) and baby Kenneth. =]

Things I need to think of:
1) Settle roles and responsibilities
2) 1st cell outing
3) cell name
4) outreach list

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. Psalm 52:8

Today for quiet time, I learnt that olive trees are one of the longest living trees. A flourishing olive tree in the house of God is one that is protected and sustained by God. I want to be like a flourishing olive tree planted in God's kingdom eternally protected by God and nourishing those that come near me.

Sitting at my table, looking out through the rain splattered window, I finally have some time to blog now. Have not blogged for a while. Maybe because of school work and the dreaded feeling of lethargy that set in ever since the sem ended. Am in the midst of having a rejuvenated rest. Note the difference: Rest and rejuvenated rest. I hope that by the end of the rest, my spirit may be rejuvenated by God Himself and the mindless pursuit of useless things will simply fade into oblivion. Rest is crucial. Somehow in rest, one is able to observe things that were unobservable say when one is in the midst of happenings. Somehow in rest, the mind becomes clearer, the speech becomes slower and the heart beats stronger.

Youth camp and Christmas had just passed us in the blink of an eye. To be honest, actually i don't like Christmas. Not that I dont like Jesus' birthday or that I don't remember the gift of love that God has given us, but Christmas seemed all superficial to me especially in crowded Orchard Rd. Christmas in Singapore is a festive season to drink, give presents and sing carols (half the time people dont even understand what the lyrics mean). In church, people take the time to go for holidays instead of working for the Lord to bring people in. Maybe I'm guilty of all these myself, many a times enjoying the glitter of festive lights and shopping mood ignoring the glory of God's presence that seemed to be sreaming for my attention at the same time. May God forgive me if I'd traded His Light for the lights of the world.

Joseph asked BAG last thursday to prayerfully consider our direction and priorities for 2007. It is going to be a major transition for me next year. Lots of things to consider and pray for and I dont understand a lot of things. "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters; but a man of understanding draws them out" (Proverbs 20:5). Lord give me understanding!

I am happy today. Just handed up one of the most dreaded assignments CCE, with 3 more to go next week. But it's kinda scary when I saw the thick stacks of assignments people handed up. Think there were over 80 pages worth of work. Mine's about 24? ha.. Hey but it's still a lot of hard work and yes, brain work. That explains my late nights (or should I say mornings) on MSN and pimply face. Had a good sleep in the noon but I'm still feeling sluggish. Kept yawning and couldnt take my eyes off the TV for fear of having to start the hideous cycle of never ending work.

Latest updates:
I got the Commonwealth flat that I want! Will select a unit in Dec I think. Praise God for his faithfulness and for granting us our desire. I simply love the area. Will explore after my FYP concludes (can't wait for it to end man..sigh)

Two of my dearest classmates are together. One is my dear Christian brother, the other is a dear friend whom I have been trying to impact and reach out to for the past 3 years. Mixed feelings. He'll explain to me after exams. Right now, I have no time to ponder over this hurt.

Pray for P. Ted as he goes through the ordeal, facing himself, his family and the public. That the community will be strong and and unwavered. Our actions matter. It affects those around us. But God's love and grace is great. He knows our coming in and going out. He can magnify a person's weakness to show his sovereignty.

"Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with his hand."

Enjoying this afternoon all by myself in the lab. Feeling all romantic and free-spirited with music playing in the background. =)

Went to Joseph's house yesterday for camp/DM meeting. Was welcomed into a lush and green environment, greeted by sculptured animals of the wild. There were jaguars, turtles and giraffes, and oh yes, elephants. ha.. The home was warm and inviting. A tad too small for 4 people but comfortable i think. Nice colour schemes tho.

BBQ was nice but many left early due to family commitments. Tempted to go back to my never ending work too but I couldnt. Dear and I told the Lord before that even if the whole world forsakes Joseph and the Youth ministry, we will not. We started it out with him for the past 2 years, we are going to continue to build as long as we can :)

On the way home, heard Sophia and Sharity talked about cell and the younger ones. A little startled by the remark made by sharity to Eileen about cell being rotten fruit. However, I dont think cell is like a rotten/overripe mango but I see that it is rather like a normal cell cos every church has its fair share of people like that. Our job is to continue to love them and care for them and guide them to the right path, whether they listen a not. How do I bring across the message that we were all like this in one way or another an we are still like this once in a while. Seeking attention, self before others, boasting, self-righteousness and lots of other weaknesses. We are all guilty of a lot of them. How do make them proud of their cell despite the fact that no one's perfect. How do we love and not judge? To love and not criticise? To work rather than talk? May the Lord enlighten us.

Happy Children's Day!

Everyone deserves a break on this day. =) Let the little child in you come out if you have hidden him/her in some dark recesses of your life for a looooong time. It's good to be child-like. Today officially marks the end of our one week break. What break? haha..

Cant believe it, 1 whole month passed by without me realising it. Well actually I do, just that I prefer not to take stock of it. I try to live life day by day, wishing and praying that FYP would just end soon. It's such a mentally and physically draining process! Dr Tham must be so pissed with me so many times (I cant rem!) that sometimes I'm simply too discouraged to explain myself for the many boo boos I've made. =( But oh well, the whole process had been tough but enriching. I learnt the different aspects of research work and realised perseverance, passion and curiosity will push you on. However, I still wish that it will be over soon cos I want to spend my time on more productive stuff like finding out the condition of my flock and planning for cell!

More projects and assignments up ahead. Praying and persevering for God to develop something out of me during this stressful period of time.
Just led prayer meeting last Friday, shared on Spiritual hunger (1 Samuel 1:1-20 and Matt 5:7) and felt the Lord renewed my own hunger and need for him in my life.
Dear and I were a little disappointed about the attendance, but God reminded me that it doesnt matter because what's most impt. that the people who may need to hear the message are there. Was nervous cos I DONT LIKE TO SPEAK IN PUBLIC. but I'll try to do anything for God, as long as it is to give him glory and to train myself to come out of the comfort zone, I will do it. If i take my focus off myself, He will do a mighty work in the hearts of his people.

It's going to be a long remaining sem and I need a lot of stamina to juggle work and ministry. May my zest for God not stop and my love for the people not cease to run dry.

14 months more to go for D-Day! =) Think new house, flowers, dresses, candles, smiles, tears, love, new life ahead!